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"When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." Elizabeth Cady Stanton



Monday, 18 July 2011

How to be best friends with a pro-choicer

One of my oldest and closest friends is about as pro-choice as you can be. She is also one of the only people who I've ever managed to have a civil discussion on abortion with. This is probably because we both hate conflict.

The last time we talked about abortion she agreed that an abortion decision should not just involve the mother - but also necessarily involves the father and the child in the womb. She did not deny the dangers of having an abortion (i.e.: infertility, infection, even death), or the fact that a fetus can feel pain. She even found it very difficult to answer the humanity/personhood arguments against abortion (in fact, every time we've discussed abortion she's changed the subject at that point). But in spite all of this, she firmly believes that abortion-on-demand is a good thing. Her reasoning behind this?  It would not be fair to "impose her ideas of abortion on others".

Most pro-choicers I know also follow this line of reasoning.

I find it hard to understand how people who are otherwise strong, smart, and eager to impact the world around them, can have such a laissez-faire approach to the abortion debate. My friend, especially, is a mystery. She's a bit of a socialist, and is eager to have government mandate, require, and involve itself in so many issues - except for abortion.

I find it hard to understand, but I don't find it at all difficult to be friends with her. We share so many interests and hobbies, and like so many, she is simply blinded by the culture around her. I'm probably one of the few people she is close to who challenges her world view in any way.

I also happen to hope that eventually she'll come around and be mostly pro-life. The funny thing is, I'm sure she thinks the same thing about me - that I'll eventually come around and be pro-choice.

(don't worry, that will never happen!)

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